00:20:49	Alison Cardy:	Finding the right mentors
You look like you're struggling.
I tend to seek inspiration, rather than help.
I don't ask for help either. I've always paid for the help.
As friends we have an agenda for each other.
Friends saying things to try to make me feel better.
Recovering co-dependent.
That's a way of helping that's just being.
Serving through words is a powerful practice.
I'm a pathological helper.
Who are when we stop trying to help?
We are not helping our people. We are awakening them to themselves.
00:34:05	Alison Cardy:	I was so concerned with taking away the bad feelings.
To detach from emotions and outcomes.
We are not responsible for what they do with that information.
When someone's crying or having a moment, that's part of their growth.
It's so uncomfortable in our own bodies...
Books are helpful to us to get in each other's shoes.
00:38:10	Alison Cardy:	Books offer us perceptions to see things that we don't see.
To allow others that they're not the only one who has gone through something.
Hey, I see you, I feel you, I know you.
I'm letting you see me so that we can connect on that level.
If the four of us read the same book, we would not have read the same book.
00:43:23	Alison Cardy:	How we approach as the helper as equals.
Watching my kids go through deep, hard emotions can sometimes feel tortuous.
Not trying to cap off the emotional cycle is massive and key.
Her approach is to really lean into it and making it bigger than it is.
Get it so heavy and big that you can physically feel it and let it drift off like a balloon.
We're not just one version of us.
Bring that person in.
00:49:52	Alison Cardy:	I'm grieving. I don't need medication. I need to process this.
I don't need to be on something that makes me feel this less or ignore the hurt.
How do we help others if we are not compassionate about our own needs?
Kids always want what's going to make them feel good.
We're always telling the little ones how to feel and what to feel.
If I'm trying to help, I'm not helping.
00:51:00	Alison Cardy:	Learning that giving and receiving is the same thing.
I receive this tea with love and I offer this tea with love.
Don't be an asshole tea drinker.